![]() ![]() Who the heck cares HOW the thank-you is received? At first I judged them (and was confused when they didn’t send handwritten cards), but finally decided that I (capital I!!!) was the one who was being uptight. Yes, of course we thank his family members for things with a meaningful text or sweet mention of it on a phone call, but they completely do NOT care if we send a handwritten note. ![]() Then, I married a man whose family couldn’t care less about thank-you notes. I grew up in a household where we were obligated to write thank you notes for EVERYTHINGGGG, and I carried that tradition through my college years and into adulthood. You know… this is kind of striking a nerve for me. A written note is lovely, but I hope we can do away with the idea that failing to thank someone in that specific form is not evidence of rudeness or laziness. I still write thank you cards, and I help my kids write them (my husband helps too), but I’ve realized that expressing gratitude quickly and earnestly is the most important part. The more buttoned-up folk might balk, and decry the death of manners, but the truth is that some things are very, very difficult for people, and you can’t really tell from the outside. ![]() I can do it right away, and if it’s something for my kids, I can even send a video of them opening it, if it’s a physical present. I’ve sent videos of myself telling someone with my own face and voice that I’m grateful to them, and they’ve been received really well. Video messages on my phone are a game changer. MANY partially finished thank you card ghosts in my life, where I didn’t make it all the way down the list, and then it washed down the river of my brain. …okay so 10 steps at minimum, not counting the steps inherent in buying things. Put the stamp you bought on the envelope, provided you did not lose the stamp in your car after you bought it So many people have executive functioning challenges, and writing a thank you card is at least 7 different steps.ĩ. I came from a “you must send a thank you card” house, but I never had much help with it (probably because my mom, who cared the most about this, ALSO had undiagnosed ADHD), so instead of the habit, I just got the shame of not doing it. I have severe ADHD, and I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. Do some people just not think to do it because they don’t really care about receiving them? Learning a lot of perspectives from these comments! My husband is a high school teacher and the handful of written thank you letters he has received from students are so sweet and absolutely appreciated. Sometimes even keep the card if it is cute or funny. I wonder if it has to do with some people just not really caring about receiving a thank you note themselves? For me, I always really appreciate a sincere written thank you. If it’s a minor thing, I’m fine with a digital thank you (especially given the cost of cards these days), but please acknowledge you appreciated something someone did for you! If I spend money and effort on a gift or take time out of my schedule to attend an event for someone, the least someone can do is send me a thank you. I’ve honestly been a bit miffed in the past for NOT receiving a written thank you card for certain situations. I grew up in a card-sending household and still do send thank you cards as an adult. I find all the different takes on written thank you notes really interesting.
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